Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm in a rut. Am I using the word "rut" correctly? What does "rut" mean anyway? I'm actually bordering on gloomy--bordering on weepy and sleepy at once--as I type this entry.

My life seems to be in a slump. My current job, in which I merely scan and index patients' files for part of the week, doesn't seem to have a future. Yes, I should be grateful for having a job when so many people don't have one. However, I need a job that would genuinely interest me and has the potential to become a career to support a livelihood, even when I finally throw myself into literary fiction and illustration.

I am deeply grateful that my parents have been able to house me since my graduation from college. Sometime, though, I have to start earning a living for myself. We started talking about a career. We agreed on the prospect of working as a veterinary assistant. I could derive delight and satisfaction from working with the animals and their owners. Didn't Melville or Hawthorne have some day-job on top of their creative works?

I'm worried about a particular friend on Imvu. I don't know how much I should say about her. Basically, I'll just say that we've shared a complicated and difficult long-distance relationship. I'm trying again to commit to her and be good to her.

Lately she has been facing serious financial troubles. I've wanted to send her aid as she asked. Sadly, when I talked with my parents, I found out the hard way that I'm in no position to do so--I'm supposed to be saving for myself as I make the slow and difficult transition to moving out. As of this typing, I've offered a couple of rosaries specially for her in addition to asking God to bless her and other friends whenever I visit the Blessed Sacrament. That seems to be the only thing that I can do in my position. I invite everyone reading this to pray for her.

I'm also concerned about my ability to retain friendships. I may have completely lost two friends through my own careless behavior in chats. Were they part of an emerging pattern or simply unhappy accidents? I don't know. I suppose that I'm merely venting my mounting frustrations. Speaking of friends, my current series of sketches of friends' avatars is still coming along very slowly, perhaps because I've had so much on my mind--much more than I've managed to type here.

Perhaps I can let you see the Anti-Defamation League's report on one of the things that has disturbed me.

Rage Grows in America: Anti‑Government Conspiracies

May I offer a couple more links about Catholic Faith for your perusal and consideration?

An Atheist Defends Religion

Pope: rediscover a path to God in beauty

The Word of God, the seed that Transforms the World

I'm taking advantage of the brief promotion where someone can use a skin for journals without any charge.

Anyway, please pray that I will find renewed vigor for life or simply wish for me the best.

Here are artists whom I watch. Obviously, I like their work. Consider looking around their pages.



Here are some friends of mine on DeviantArt.



You can also see me on these pages.

White Rose Brian on Imvu

White Rose Brian on Mushroom Kingdom Fusion Reactor


May God be with all of you.